By Rahul 
This no-BS guide gives you clear, confident, expert-backed Ways to Stop Thinking About Someone for Good—because healing isn’t optional, it’s necessary.
You don’t need closure. You need clarity. And you don’t need to wait on them to give it to you. Let me say it straight: the brain is a stubborn bitch when it gets addicted to a person. It doesn’t care if they treated you like garbage, ghosted you, breadcrumbed you, or left you wrecked in the aftermath of a situationship that never even had a real beginning. Here are the best Ways to Stop Thinking About Someone for Good.
Ways to Stop Thinking About Someone for Good
1. Call Out the Illusion for What It Is
Stop romanticizing a person who couldn’t show up for you. You’re not obsessed with them. You’re obsessed with the potential of what it could have been.
Dr. Cortney Warren, clinical psychologist and author of Letting Go of Your Ex, puts it this way: “What keeps most people stuck is the illusion of who they thought their ex was—not who they actually showed up as.”
So when your brain says, “But they were so kind that one night when…”
You need to answer with, “And then they ghosted for three days.”
Write a list of every time they made you feel dismissed, hurt, confused, or emotionally small. Tape it on your wall. Read it daily. Keep facts in front of your face until the fantasy loses its grip.
2. Replace the Thought. Don’t Wrestle It.
Thought suppression doesn’t work. That’s been proven over and over again in research.
In fact, Harvard psychologist Daniel Wegner coined the term “ironic rebound”—meaning the more you try not to think about something, the stronger it comes back.
So instead of saying “Don’t think about them,” you swap it with, “Think about something else.”
Here’s a technique that works:
- Every time your mind drifts to them, say out loud, “Not useful right now.”
- Redirect to a task—like moving your body, organizing something, even scrubbing the damn bathroom floor if you have to.
Create a go-to list of replacement thoughts.
- Your future self walking into her dream apartment
- The next dinner you’ll cook with someone who actually listens
- Your dog’s goofy smile
You’re not ignoring your thoughts. You’re rewiring your attention.
3. Purge Every Trigger—Ruthlessly
Don’t half-ass this. If their number’s still in your phone “just in case,” you’re self-sabotaging. Delete the chat threads. Block the socials. Burn the playlist if you have to.
And don’t worry—blocking isn’t immature. It’s a boundary. It tells your brain, “This door is shut.” That’s necessary for neural closure.
Neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart explains: “Every time you see something that reminds you of a person, it strengthens the neural pathway associated with them. If you want to forget, you have to reduce the trigger exposure.”
Throw away the hoodie. Mute mutual friends. Rearrange your space. Whatever reminds your brain of them—wipe it out.
4. Channel the Obsession Into Forward Momentum
You’ve got emotional energy leaking through your brain like a broken pipe. Redirect it.
Start a new ritual that demands your full attention. Not something mindless like scrolling. Something that builds identity.
Here’s what that looked like for one client I worked with:
- She scheduled boxing classes three times a week.
- She created a Sunday “self-celebration” ritual: journaling, wine, and music she never got to enjoy around him.
- She made a rule: for every 10 minutes she thought about him, she owed her future self 10 minutes of creation—writing, designing, planning a solo trip.
By the time her 30-day mark hit, she had a business plan, new biceps, and a playlist that made her feel like a fucking goddess.
5. Write a Letter You’ll Never Send
This isn’t for them. This is for the part of you that still wants to be heard.
Write out everything you wanted to scream, say, or whisper. Pour it all out:
- The rage
- The longing
- The confusion
- The moment you knew you deserved more
- Then burn it.
This signals to your subconscious that the dialogue is done. No open tabs. No what-ifs. Just ashes.
6. Detach From the Idea That They Owe You an Explanation
Let this one hit deep: closure isn’t something they give you. It’s something you decide.
Psychologist Dr. Guy Winch, author of How to Fix a Broken Heart, explains: “Ruminating is your brain’s way of trying to get closure. But in most cases, closure is just an explanation we think will soothe our pain. The truth is, even with answers, the emotional damage remains.”
You think if they said, “I didn’t love you the way you needed,” it would help. It won’t. Because what hurts isn’t the lack of explanation—it’s the absence of the connection you thought you had.
Own your own closure. You don’t need their guilt, their confession, or their apology to begin healing.
7. Give Your Nervous System a Break
This isn’t just emotional—it’s biological. Your body is literally wired to crave that dopamine hit they used to give you.
That means you have to stabilize your nervous system like it’s going through withdrawal. Because it is.
Here’s how:
- Cold showers or brisk walks (regulate cortisol)
- Deep belly breathing or vagus nerve stimulation (slow down fight-or-flight)
- Weighted blankets, magnesium, or calming supplements
Stop calling it “weakness.” Call it what it is: a chemical fucking storm. And you’re learning how to ride it.
8. Tell a New Story
You’re not the person who was left behind.
You’re the person who made it out of emotional limbo.
Start rewriting the script. When someone asks, “What happened with you two?” — don’t say, “We broke up.”
Say: “I broke a pattern.”
That simple shift rewires your identity. You’re not stuck. You’re becoming someone who no longer settles for half-love.
9. Let Time Do Its Thing—But Don’t Let It Do All the Work
Yes, time helps. But time doesn’t heal shit if you keep replaying the same story.
Healing is what you do with time. Block their name from your search bar. Replace old haunts with new memories. Reclaim your phone, your bed, your Sundays.
Time plus intention is how you move on.
You think you miss them, but here’s the truth: You miss the version of you who believed they were safe. And now? You’re the version of you who knows better—and who refuses to settle for love that leaves you second-guessing your worth.
So stop checking their feed. Stop rereading that last message. Stop imagining a “what if” reunion that robs you of the present. This is your moment. Use these Ways to Stop Thinking About Someone for Good and choose to let them go—for good.