Feeling wired, tense, and trapped in survival mode? This guide on how to get out of fight or flight offers proven tools to calm your nervous system.
When your heart pounds, your chest tightens, and your mind races—you’re not being dramatic. You’re in fight or flight. Your nervous system is sounding the alarm: “You’re not safe.” If you’re stuck in survival mode, the question is: how to get out of fight or flight—fully, not temporarily. You don’t need a spa weekend. You need daily tools that help your brain and body come home to safety.
How to Get Out of Fight or Flight: 12 Grounded Strategies That Actually Work
Most of the threats you feel in modern life aren’t lions or physical danger. They’re emotional. A rude email. A passive-aggressive comment. A bill you weren’t expecting. And your body doesn’t know the difference.
1. Name What’s Happening—Out Loud
When you’re in fight or flight, your prefrontal cortex (the rational part of your brain) goes offline. Labeling what you’re feeling brings it back online.
Say this out loud or write it down:
“I’m feeling threatened. My heart is racing. I’m in fight or flight. This is a stress response—not reality.”
This interrupts the panic spiral and restores a sense of control.
Dr. Dan Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, coined this method “Name it to tame it.” He explains: “When we put feelings into words, we use the left side of our brain, which helps calm the emotional right side.”
2. Exhale Longer Than You Inhale
You don’t need to “breathe deeply.” You need to breathe smarter.
A longer exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system—the part responsible for rest and calm. Try this rhythm:
- Inhale for 4 counts
- Hold for 1
- Exhale for 6
- Hold for 1
Repeat for at least two minutes.
3. Shake. Literally.
Animals shake after stress to reset their nervous systems. Humans suppress it. But movement—especially spontaneous, loose shaking—discharges the adrenaline your body builds up.
Close your door. Stand up. Shake your hands, feet, torso, and neck for 30 seconds. Let yourself be messy.
4. Use Cold Water Intentionally
Cold exposure constricts blood vessels and slows heart rate, bringing your nervous system down from a spike.
Try:
- Splashing cold water on your face
- Holding an ice cube in your hand
- A 30-second cold shower blast
This isn’t about discomfort—it’s about regulation. It jolts your body into the present and diverts attention from the fear loop.
5. Press Your Feet Into the Ground
Grounding works best when it’s physical.
- Stand or sit with your feet flat on the floor.
- Push down with firm, even pressure.
- Say: “I’m here. I’m safe. I feel the ground.”
This anchors your body when your brain is spiraling. When you’re figuring out how to get out of fight or flight quickly, anchoring is non-negotiable.
6. Chew—Even When You’re Not Hungry
Chewing tells your nervous system the danger is gone. That’s why you lose your appetite under stress—because digestion shuts down in fight or flight.
Chew gum. Eat crunchy vegetables. Sip something warm.
This sends a signal: “I’m safe enough to eat. I’m not in danger anymore.”
7. Use Bilateral Stimulation
This method involves rhythmic movement from one side of the body to the other—activating both hemispheres of the brain and promoting calm.
Try:
- Walking while focusing on each step
- Tapping your left and right thighs alternately
- Listening to audio that alternates between left and right ears
This technique is the foundation of EMDR therapy, a trauma treatment method endorsed by the World Health Organization.
8. Look Around—Literally
When you’re in fight or flight, your vision narrows (called “tunnel vision”), and your brain prepares to scan for threats.
Counter this by doing a “safety scan”:
- Look around the room slowly
- Name 5 things you see
- Name 3 things you hear
- Name 1 thing you can touch
This tricks your brain into exiting defense mode. You’re not telling yourself you’re safe. You’re proving it.
9. Practice Vagus Nerve Activation
The vagus nerve is the main highway between your brain and body. Stimulating it reduces inflammation, lowers heart rate, and calms stress.
Here’s how:
- Humming or chanting (the vibration helps)
- Gargling loudly for 30 seconds
- Singing from your diaphragm
10. Use Predictability as Medicine
Your nervous system craves rhythm. Chaos spikes cortisol. Predictable structure lowers it.
Set micro-routines—even just three steps repeated daily.
Example: Wake up → journal for 5 mins → stretch for 3 minutes. That’s enough to build a rhythm that tells your brain, “I know what’s next.”
If you want to learn how to get out of fight or flight for the long haul, start with routine. It’s less about time and more about consistency.
11. Speak to Yourself Like You Speak to a Child
Self-criticism keeps you stuck in survival. Compassion regulates.
Talk to yourself in second person. Say:
- “You’re overwhelmed right now, and that makes sense.”
- “You’re allowed to feel scared.”
- “I’m here. I’ve got you.”
This doesn’t coddle you. It calms the threat response that keeps looping inside your body.
12. Complete the Stress Cycle
Stress doesn’t end when the trigger is gone. It ends when the body believes it’s safe.
To complete the stress cycle, do something that brings the body full circle—from tension to release.
That could be:
- Crying
- Laughing deeply
- Dancing wildly
- Writing without filter
- Hugging someone for 20+ seconds
Give your body a physical conclusion. Otherwise, the stress just stacks up—and that’s what keeps you in a chronic fight or flight loop.
Fight or Flight Isn’t a Mental Problem—It’s a Nervous System Pattern
Knowing how to get out of fight or flight isn’t about “calming down.” It’s about speaking your body’s language.
You don’t logic your way out of survival mode. You regulate.
And you don’t need a perfect lifestyle to do it. You just need to create moments—tiny, powerful moments—where your body learns that safety is possible again.
- Even if the world feels chaotic.
- Even if your triggers are loud.
- Even if you’ve lived in stress for too long.
Start where you are.
Use what’s already within you.
And come back to yourself—one nervous system cue at a time.
